Whod you bang
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
