I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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