oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
