I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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