Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
