I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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