Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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