I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
