I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
