I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
