TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
