I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
