Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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