There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
