Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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