I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm getting married
To pizza
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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