How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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