doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
