I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
