I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
