Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
