I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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