I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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