Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My vagina is officially offended.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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