Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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