who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize