I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
