i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just want to make out with him forever
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
