I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
