im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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