I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
