Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
