my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
