Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
