I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
