This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
