my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I forget how to act sober
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