Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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