I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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