I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
