which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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