Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
