do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Michael Bay diarrhea
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
