what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
