dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
