"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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