It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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