the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
