my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
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