I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
