I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
