my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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