Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
