I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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