I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
