i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
