That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
