i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I have demons in me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Randomize
