then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Randomize
