i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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