I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
false alarm, still single
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
