No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
